I WAS IN TEARS AND NEEDED HELP NOW!
It was January 2014, I'd just quit my job working for Zumba and ended a really toxic relationship. Sitting on the floor of my childhood room in tears I made 2 phone calls.
The first phonecall I made was to a counsellor. I needed help, I was desperately unhappy and couldn't understand why all this shit kept happening to me; why everything always seemed to be going in the right direction towards success, and then all of a sudden the floor would fall away from beneath me...
I could barely speak leaving an answerphone message for the counsellor to get back to me. I hung up and then called Lydia. Again crying down the phone I just about managed to get her to understand 'I need help, I don't know what I'm doing wrong and I don't know what to do now. I just need to feel better.'
I signed up to a package of sessions with both the counsellor and with Lydia - a life coach. I just wanted my life sorted.
The first session with the counsellor let me offload all my feelings but after that it felt like she was probing into my past trying to make issues where there weren't any - I knew my childhood had problems and I knew what they were. I've always been very matter-of-fact about things and in the grand scheme of things my childhood wasn't that bad. So I didn't need to "uncover" anything and suddenly put the missing piece of the jigsaw in place.
After 2 sessions with the counsellor I wondered what on earth I would talk about. I spent the 30 minute drive to the third session trying to think about what I could say I decided there was no point going anymore as it was making me feel like I was dragging myself back down rather than moving forwards.
But from my very first session with Lydia I found myself excited for the future again. I had no idea what I wanted to do in my life but it was exciting!
I did courses, learned new skills - some that have nothing to do with fitness or dance - and discovered more about what I want to be, do and have in my life. Very quickly I launched Fitmalion and that same summer put on an event called #FitmalionEmpowerment which was a fitness day in London aimed at empowering women and in aid of Womankind Worldwide.
I felt empowered and able to be my authentic self which made me feel free. The best feeling together with happiness and maybe excitement, exhilaration... oh there are too many. But I was well and truly on my path.
What I appreciate about coaching is that it helps you to move forward and to uncover your authentic self. It's not about dragging up the past or analysing anything - when that's needed it's for the psychotherapists, psychologists and psychiatrists to deal with.
It's not about leading others into what you think they should or shouldn't be doing. Rather it's about helping them to hear themselves and to guide them in making plans to ensure that they get done what they want to do!
It's such an absolute joy to see someone absolutely released from constraints of what they think they should be, what they think they should be doing and what they think they should have and feel based on what they've "learnt" throughout their life.
Do you know what is truly important to you?
What do you really want to do?
How do you want to feel?
Who do you want to be in your relationships, in your job and in life in general?
IS THIS SOUNDING A BIT SCARY? A BIT BIG?
Of course it is! It's your life, it's the one chance you have to be in this world. Do you want to live it in a way that doesn't really sit right with you?
Change is always scary. But to grow you need to change things, not by changing who you are but by discovering who you truly are and living in a way that makes you genuinely happy.
No more chasing happiness. No more "when I get my dream job then I'll be happy", "when I find my soul mate then I'll feel successful", "when I have kids I'll be a real woman."
like you have a million things to do and no clue where to start?
Of course you do! It's completely normal to feel like this especially in this day and age when you have to do and be everything.
Understanding what is truly important to you is key. Then we can make a plan of how to achieve it all.
life could be so much better?
If you find yourself wondering "is this all there is?" then you need to get to grips with your passions and what's truly important to you.
Discover, Plan, Do and change your life forever. Anything is possible.
DO YOU FEEL...
unhappy or unfulfilled?
I used to feel unhappy a lot even though those who 'knew' me probably didn't really notice.
Now I've worked out how to be happy - just as I am - without running after happiness.
Do that and you'll never find it.
like you're worth more than this?
You are worth just as much as every other human being out there. But why doesn't it feel like that?
Whether it's work or personal life you want to feel valued. Let's work together to make that happen.